My Name is Yusuke
by E-arth Duelist
Summary: Rated M to be safe. Crossover between Yu Yu hakusho and My Name is Earl. Submitted only in Yu Yu hakusho catagory so more people can read it. Twenty years after the original series ended, Yusuke has found karma and now, one by one, he's trying to cross things off of a list of all the bad things he has done.


My Name is Yusuke

Chapter 1: Ruined Keiko's 8th grade dance

_You know that guy who is always doing bad things and wonders why his life sucks? That's me. Or at least, it was. Until a blow to the head caused me to have to go to the hospital, where I learned about the healing effects of karma. When I got out of the hospital, I made a list of all the bad things I've done and one by one, I'm going to make them right. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Yusuke._

I always wondered what it would be like to see how many beer bottles Kuwabara could crush with his head. So, we used to make a game out of it. I'd throw one up and when it hit the hard surface of a table, Kuwabara would smack his head into it. It was both amusing and educational. Anyways, instead of trying that today, me and my best friend were sitting in the Gummy Bar, waiting for the rest of the gang. It had been awhile since the gang had been together and I was eager to tell them all about my list and how I was going to make things right. Little to say, my friends were surprised.

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You can't be serious, Yusuke."

Hiei frowned and took out his sword. "Who are you? And where is the real asshole?"

I sighed. "It's me, I'm real. When that punch from the old man landed me in the hospital, I found karma and decided to change my life around. Problem is, I don't know which one I should try and cross off first."

Kuwabara looked at the list. "How about number 35?"

I looked at the number and my heart skipped a beat. And not a good one. For you see, number 35 on my list just happened to include my ex-wife, Keiko: ruined her chance to go to the school dance with Marcus Howard.

**Flashback**

_Back when I was in eighth grade, I wasn't a very bright or nice person. In fact, some people would have called me a bully. Those people were usually punched in the face, but Marcus Howard was different. He was five foot ten and he had the muscles of a steamroller. So you can imagine why I didn't try to confront him when he asked Keiko to the school dance. But, just because I was scared of the guy, doesn't mean I did't get even. Kuwabara helped with that. We set up a tomato bomb and waited for the right moment._

"Is he coming?" I asked, sitting on the roof of the dance hall. Kuwabara was outside, watching from the bushes.

"Yeah. I see him, Urameshi. He's in a brown jacket. He's coming your way. He's right under you!"

"Take this, you son of a bitch" I whispered, letting loose the tomato bomb.

_Unfortuently, I had no idea that Marcus had given Keiko his jacket while Kuwabara was talking. I guess it was cold that night, how was I supposed to know? I had the fire of revenge in my heart to keep me warm. So the tomato bomb failed, but it didn't go unnoticed. The splat sound, followed by Keiko's scream told me that I had hit the wrong target. _

"Uh Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked. "What did you do?"

"Um..." I couldn't think of what to say or do. I heard Keiko shouting angrily, added to the sound of Marcus's car driving away, only without his date.

**end flashback**

"Can't we pick something else?" I asked, grinning nervously. No offense, but Keiko is a bitch. Espessially when she's angry.

"Urameshi is scared?" Hiei asked, grinning.

"Wouldn't you be?" I asked, folding my arms. "She once made Kurama cry."

Kurama's eyes well up with tears. "Yusuke...you said you wouldn't talk about that...!" He ran into the bathroom as Hiei watched, rolling his eyes.

"Face up to your fears" Kuwabara suggested. "You'll have to take care of this eventually. Might as well get it over with. Besides, do you think she will still be mad about this after over twenty years?"

"Yeah" I agreed, cracking a smile. "I'll just explain the list and that I'm sorry for ruining her date with her dream guy. Thanks Kuwabara." And so I left to make things right.

_Unfortunently, Keiko liked to hold grudges. She remembered that night and she was still mad._

Keiko's fists balled up in rage. "You what?" she asked, anger building. "It was your fault that Marcus never called me again! And ran out on our dancing date!"

"Calm down" I suggested, holding up the list. "See? I'm a man of karma now. I'm trying to make up for being a jerk all those years."

_Even Keiko couldn't be mad forever. _

She sighed and sat down on her sofa. Since she rented the apartment, it was all she could afford for a bed. "Alright Yusuke. So you're going by karma now, right?" I nodded.

"That's right. So, tell me how I can make it up to you."

_I wasn't expecting her answer, but I should have._

"Get me a date with Marcus Howard."

"I don't even know where he lives" I grumbled. She gave me a look. "Okay, okay! I'll go see if I can find him, geez."

_I didn't know where to search for him, so I went to the only person I knew who could look up anyone in town. _

"Yeah, I can find him" Hiei replied. "For a price. Two muffins, lightly toasted."

"Sounds fair" I replied. Hiei began searching with his jagan eye.

"Found him. Two blocks away from the candy apple store."

"Thanks Hiei" I called to him as I began walking to my jeep. He grunted something that might have been asshole, but my hearing isn't too good when it comes to long distances, so it could have very well been a sea turtle that he said.

I found his place fairly easy and knocked on the door. "Hello? Marcus Howard?" The man who answered the door looked like Marcus Howard, except now he had a big pot belly. I stifled a laugh for as long as I could, but sometimes, these things just come out.

"What's so funny?" he asked, giving me a stare.

"Huh? Nothing...your Marcus Howard?" He nodded and let me inside. "Cool. I have something to tell you..." So I let him in on my list and how I was changing my life to abide by the laws of karma.

"Ah, so you threw down that tomato!" he laughed, eating a gingersnap. "I thought it was odd for it to fall out of the sky randomly."

"Yeah" I agreed. "So anyway, I know where Keiko lives. I think she would like to see you again, make up for your missed date."

"I would love to" Marcus admitted. He looked to the back of his house. "Unfortunently, I have a family now. Two ungrateful kids a ten year girl and an eight year boy. My wife left me years ago, so I have to watch them myself. I can't go on a date...unless you know someone who can watch my kids?"

"Not someone" I replied. "Two someones..."

_While I accompinied Marcus to keiko's house so they could have their dance and I could cross Keiko off of my list, the two babysitters I had volunteered for Marcus's kids were getting...adjusted._

"Marie, turn down that music!" Kurama yelled over the blaring music.

"I'll shut it up" Hiei frowned. He took out his sword and cut the radio in two. " Go to bed, now!" Marie and Jacob nodded and, afraid, ran upstairs to their rooms. "Kids..."

"Is that why you never stay in touch with yours?" Kurama asked, chuckling.

Hiei snorted. "At least I found a woman to get married to." Kurama frowned. The sound of cries and jumping on the beds could be heard. "Mr. ace parent, the kids want you."

Hiei grumbled and shot a fireball at the ceiling. "Keep it down or I'll kick your asses!"

_As hard as it was for Kurama and Hiei to get used to babysitting, I was feeling good. Marcus and Keiko were excited to see each other again and start their dance date. Problem was, they needed a disco ball, for effect. The only one I knew of in town awas the one Kuwabara used for his 70's night. I decided to borrow it and so Kuwabara wouldn't get upset, since he loved his disco ball and wouldn't let so much as a hair touch it, I knocked him out cold with a spirit gun blast to the back of the head. He'll live._

"This is nice" Keiko sighed, arms around Marcus as they danced to the music of red river.

"Yeah" Marcus agreed. "I enjoyed the punch."

"Punch?" Keiko asked. "Oh! The punch!" She rolled her eyes. You see, Keiko couldn't find punch and, as I found out later, didn't have a good substitute. The only thing she could find was some twenty year old alchohol and some red food coloring.

"So, when do you want to do this again?" Marcus asked, staring at Keiko's breasts.

Keiko put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me? You think you can leave me hanging for twenty years or so and waltz back into my life and steal my heart? Is that what you think? You're wrong, Marcus Howard. And I never want to see you again." She pushed him outside and slammed the door. And as bad news goes, Kuwabara's disco ball fell off the ceiling, breaking into a mill...a thou...a bunch of pieces. Oh well. I added Kuwabara to the list for stealing his disco ball and crossed keiko off of my list. Ah, it feels good to do something nice.


End file.
